I went home this weekend not just for Mother's Day, but to visit with family, mainly my Grandpa Jim. As of Saturday, he was starting to go downhill. He's been slowly getting worse since October, so we have been expecting this, but it's still so hard to go through, especially to watch.
I've now seen firsthand both of my grandfather's gradual decline to the end, and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It's such a strange feeling to watch this. On one hand, I am fortunate and thankful that I was in my late 20s until my grandparents started to pass away because I was able to get to know them; however, sometimes I think it would have been easier if I was younger because the pain of seeing them suffer is sometimes unbearable to think about.
I saw this when my Grandpa Bennie passed in October, but it has been this experience with Grandpa Jim where it has all come full circle for me - it is amazing how the end of life is so much like the beginning of life, but while the beginning is full of joy and excitement, the end is full of sadness and heartbreak. Just like a newborn, there is a diaper, someone watching over you at all times, checking how much liquid you drank, and basically making sure you are comfortable because you really can't speak for yourself. It is incredibly ironic.
While this has been incredibly difficult, it has definitely helped me to appreciate life and prepared me to someday help my parents, which is not something I really want to think about, but that's life!
Grandpa Jim during World War II
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